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Friday, January 1, 2010

A new beginning

I've always been one to prefer the A-Z process of things. I like to begin at the beginning and continue to the end. I guess it is appropriate to start the first day of this new year.

Almost 3 months ago, my husband of 31 years died very unexpectedly from a heart attack. I am beginning to emerge from that foggy mental state that accompanies a shock of this nature and I have a new empathy for those who have lost a loved one.

Before October 18th, it was my habit to feel a pang of sympathy for a grieving family, show up with a home made contribution to the dinner provided at church post funeral, and take my empty casserole dish home with hardly a thought of what lay ahead for the family I thought I had been ministering to.

In the months ahead, I will share my story-the day to day reality of living a life without the man I have loved for 33 years. I am doing things I have never done before and relying on God as I have never done before. So far, there have been little "glimpses of good" that remind me that I am loved and cared for by my Savior.

Some friends have been a blessing in my life and some who I thought were friends have all but ignored my presence. Maybe they think this "death thing" is contagious or maybe they just do not know how to help. I choose to think the latter.

I'm quite sure my "human-ness" will rear it's ugly head, but hopefully as I share honestly with those who read this blog, someone will be helped. Perhaps you have been where I am now and can nod your head thinking, "Yep, been there, done that, got the tee shirt" or you know someone who has lost a loved one and you are looking for practical ways to help- what to say or not say to comfort someone, what you can DO to help.

I assure you this blog will not be all gloom and doom. I'm a pretty funny old girl (52 y.o) and I love to bake, decorate, plan events, entertain, and shop. I self published a cookbook last year and will be sharing tried and true recipes and testing new ones.

I'm not a "picture person" for the most part, but I WILL learn how to use my camera and share "stuff" with you. Remember, I am doing things I have never done before. :-)