The Man I Knew
Greg’s life
as I saw it---(written by Sue, but read by our nephew, Caleb at Greg’s funeral)
Most of you
here today may remember Greg as the boy you saw growing up or the young man
that entered your life in his late teens.
Today is all about honoring and appreciating the man he became.
Greg
graduated from Batesville High School at age 16. He entered Ole Miss majoring in Math with a
long term goal of serving in the United States Air Force. Accomplishing this would require
determination and focus.
When I met him,
he had just finished his sophomore year of college with the aid of an ROTC
scholarship and working full time as an orderly at the hospital in Oxford, MS.
Sometime in
his 16th year, Greg attended a movie sponsored by the Billy Graham Crusade. His heart was stirred by the salvation
message of the production and Greg realized that he was a sinner and deserved
an eternity in Hell. He learned that
Jesus willingly paid that penalty for his sins and died in his place on the
cross. An invitation to accept Christ as his Savior and Lord became the
defining moment in his life and it was evident in the years that followed that
this decision was not made with empty impulsive emotion, but with a sincere
faith that he would someday live in Heaven with his Lord.
On August 1st,
1976 as he was clocking in for the 4-12PM shift, he took notice of this blue-eyed
brunette nursing student who was starting her new summer job.
I had just completed my 1st
year of nursing school and was chatting with her sister-in-law, an LPN, who
also worked at the facility.
It should be
noted that Greg wasted no time pumping the LPN relative for information about
the girl and made sure he memorized her work floor assignment every day.
The
orderlies had no specific floor duty, but were paged when needed to help. The student nurse was told later in the
relationship, that when her unit called for help, Greg would race up the stairs
to where she was, and then casually saunter onto the unit as if he was
conveniently close by.
His efforts
were rewarded by a first date on August 5th. Before the month had
ended, it was apparent to the couple that love had blossomed.
This nursing
student had many opportunities in the days ahead to observe the tender-hearted,
but fun-loving young man in action. One
incident I recall is that Greg had a particularly soft spot in his heart for
an elderly Alzheimer patient named Hiram Goforth.
Hiram was
often confused and thought he was still on his farm and that the chores needed
to be done. He could not rest until his
mules were fed and watered. Greg would
assure the anxious gentleman that he would take care of all the work and he
would leave the room briefly, and then return to announce that all the animals
had been settled in for the night.
Poor Hiram
had no teeth and the pureed hospital food was often rejected by this man who
seemed to be wasting away
despite their care.
Knowing that his meager paycheck sometimes left him eating popcorn for
supper, it was especially heartwarming to see Greg buy the Mallo-mars Hiram
loved and enjoyed in spite of his toothlessness.
His
mischievous and humorous side was also observed that summer when he and the
orderlies he worked with planned and implemented several elaborate, though
harmless, pranks on unsuspecting victims.
One scheme
involved 2 orderlies pushing a sheet covered supposedly deceased person through
a crowded emergency waiting room and accidently tipping the guy playing the
corpse onto the floor. Nary a sound was
heard in the room as the two pushing the cart reloaded the unfortunate deceased
back onto it and cheerfully left the room whistling the tune, “Heigh ho, heigh
ho, it’s off to work we go.”
Greg and
Susan (or Sue as she is known by many of her friends), became engaged in
September of 1976. They both knew that
finishing their education was a priority so while Sue continued her studies at
Baptist Hospital in Memphis TN- Greg remained in Oxford.
He shared an
apartment with another college attending orderly, but when the fellow decided
to move on, Greg found he was unable to afford the rent by himself. He visited his future in-laws over the
Christmas holidays and when Sue returned to Memphis in January, Greg simply
stayed on, living with her parents, helping out wherever he was needed, and
winning their trust that their daughter was going to be in good hands when they
married.
He knew he
was accepted as a member of the family the morning he awoke to the sounds of
Susan’s Dad retching in the bathroom next door after his kidney dialysis
treatment. As he lay there, he realized
that he also was sick to his stomach and urgently needed to use the facilities
himself. The only option was to race across
the house to the other restroom and try to avoid the carpeted areas ahead of
him.
Mrs. Cook
(Sue’s mother) was making breakfast in the vinyl floored kitchen when Greg
suddenly rounded the corner and could no longer hold his illness back. His future mother in law looked up from her
skillet and said wryly, “You DO realize that you’re going to have to clean that
up!!”
Greg had a
romantic nature toward his bride-to-be.
He was the sentimental one in the relationship. He brought me flowers often, but though I
appreciated the thought, it went against my practical and thrifty nature to see
money spent on something that was so short-lived. They decided together that if
he felt the need, he should buy only 3 flowers-one for each word in the phase,
“I LOVE YOU.” Needless to say, I
received 3 flowers often and for no special reason. I carried 3 pink roses atop a Bride’s Bible
on my wedding day.
In May of
1978, 19 months after his proposal, Greg and I were married at the Baptist
church in Paris, MS. I was now a
registered nurse and he would be commissioned into the Air Force within months.
He cherished
his young bride and felt helpless and guilty as they drove away from her
childhood home in December of 1978 to begin their new life together. They were headed across country to Mather Air
Force Base in Sacramento, California.
This wife of
31 ½ years recalls his unfailing tenderness and patience as I cried from Paris,
MS almost non-stop to Texarkana, TX.
Because of this, I was able to eventually overcome her homesickness and
happily transition to 7 different bases in 20 years and 3 subsequent moves
after his retirement from the Air Force.
Greg loved
kids and made a special effort almost every Sunday to drop by the church
nursery to make faces at the toddlers and try to get them to laugh.
One especially successful trick was to teach
them to “Give him five.” As they slapped
his hand, he would pull his hand away and pretend that he was in extreme
pain. This always made the kids laugh
and over time he would reach across the Dutch door of the nursery and the
entire room of toddlers would run toward him so they could be the first one
to make Mr. Greg feel some pain. They
loved him!!!
In November
of 1988, the couple welcomed a baby daughter into their family. As this new mother lay exhausted in her bed,
I watched as the very first diaper was changed by the new Dad. The hands that had ministered with confidence
to so many elderly patients now trembled as he took gentle care of his baby
girl.
Two and a
half years later, this exhausted and very sore wife would again observe him holding
their 10 lb. 4 oz. newborn baby boy.
This time he said with a twinkle in his eye, “Honey, I think this might
be it…I don’t know if I can go through this again.”
Greg’s
military career progressed as he reached one goal after another. He began as a 2nd Lt. who trained as
navigator in an RC-135. His missions
were of a highly confidential nature.
His commanding officers commended his leadership, cool-headedness to
perform in an emergency, and his ability to teach other young navigators
without insulting their intelligence or undermining their confidence.
Greg
ascended in the ranks until he reached the position of Major and was stationed
at the Pentagon. His devotion and time
commitment to his family, his work ethic, and his service at his local church
left him little free time. Because he
was not willing to devote less time to any of these endeavors, he missed the deadline
for a class essential to his making the rank of Lt. Colonel. It must be said he was very disappointed that
he was passed over for promotion. His
commanding officers were stunned and not a little upset that a flyer as fine as
Greg did not make rank when in their opinion less talented individuals were
promoted.
This career
setback was lessened when he received a personal request to come work for a
well respected division of the military located at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton,
OH called Big Safari. It was to be the
best experience of his military career and he gained knowledge and made friends
and business contacts that were invaluable to him in his future business
executive positions. He often said that
if he had made rank, his job post retirement would have had a very different
and less satisfying outcome.
Greg was
reading his bible one day and came across a verse in Psalms chapter 75, verse
6- “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the
south. “ Since God is as far North as
you can get, Greg accepted with a grateful heart that God did not give him what
he WANTED, God gave him something much, much better.
The transition
to civilian life was hard for Greg. The “dog eat dog” mentality of the business
world, and the stepping on someone else to climb your way to the “top of the
heap” was foreign to him. He had spent 20 years working with a group of men and
women who had a common goal to serve and protect. He was a team player in every sense of the
word and would far rather see success given to the group as a whole than to be
the “top dog.”
If I could
pinpoint one flaw in Greg I noticed early in our relationship, it was his
personal lack of self-confidence. I
believe he overcame this by working hard to do his best at whatever task he was
given. He had an analytical mind and
anything he did whether it was preparing a briefing for work or packing a car
for a trip was done with great thought and preparation. He love to make lists when working on a
project and I teased him about this at times, but I have learned the value this
habit. I never do anything without
making one. I also saw that as he matured
and grew more confident, he remained a very humble man.
I also
admired his ability to do math in his head.
He could calculate to the penny the total amount of the cost of the
groceries in our shopping cart. I will
miss my human calculator in more ways than one.
Greg always
put my needs and those of our kids above his.
He never made a purchase above $50, especially on himself, without
checking in with me first. It wasn’t
asking my permission either. He was
making sure that everyone else got what they needed and wanted first and that
there were no unexpected expenses he was not aware of.
We were
involved in many churches over our 31 years and frequent moves. They became an extended family and support
system to us as we lived so far from our own folks in Mississippi. Greg loved
being an usher greeting people, but he would do anything asked of him. He had an amazing ability to see what needed
to be done and just did it.
We both
enjoyed entertaining guests in our home and we often invited people we just met
over for a meal. The military lifestyle
calls for making friends quickly because you are never in one place for very
long. Of course we did not become good
friends with everyone we met, but we enjoyed meeting new people even if we
didn’t have a lot in common with them. We had a standing joke that said, “All
our guests bring joy… Some by coming,
others by leaving.”
I also
enjoyed writing humorous skits that featured a married couple. Though he usually did not want to be the
center of attention, he would dress up in any weird costume I needed him to if
he thought someone would get a laugh out of it.
It always did.
He was
always supportive of the things I love to do. I enjoyed cooking and decorating for weddings and other events and Greg cheerfully loaded, unloaded, and was my “go and get it” guy when I forgot
something. He brought me cookbooks often
from the places he traveled to and encouraged me in my goal of someday writing
one myself.
I finished
it in December of 2008 and sent it to the printer in January ‘09. I wrote it for our children, Emily and Andrew,
but the dedication was “ to the most wonderful husband and sweetheart any woman
could be blessed with. It is he who has
given me the freedom to be the person that I am (flawed as that is)-to love me
even when I am cranky, help me when I am overwhelmed, to listen when I need to
vent, be my “go-fer” when I am catering and make my coffee every morning.” (He
didn’t even drink coffee).
We were
preparing for that stage of life where it was going to be all about us. The children were grown and in college, and he had already left an extremely stressful job that required him to travel
almost weekly.
He had accepted a
position at a company whose work focused on supporting military issues
involving the Navy. His high security
clearances and previous background was tailor made for this job. The travel was
minimal. I can visualize him walking to our car after the interview. He was trying to repress the excitement he
felt over the job and said to me, “I think I could really enjoy working with
these folks.”
He had been
employed with this company for 2 weeks when the unexpected happened.
Greg told me
many, many times that all he ever wanted to do was make me happy. I guess except for that final act he had no
control over, he met that life goal.
He truly
lived the verse that was his favorite.
Galations 2:20 “I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not
I ,but Christ liveth in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by the
faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.”
At the
posting of this memorial, he has been gone 4 years, 7 months, & 12
days. Some days are harder than
others. Grief rears its head when one
least expects it. Caring friends help,
but the ‘One who never leaves or forsakes’ is always who I go running to for
Comfort. Weeping may last for the night,
but joy DOES come.
Oddly
enough, one of the hardest tasks for me was to purchase the double
headstone. It took me a year to face up
to this task. I prefer to defer the ‘unpleasant,’I guess.
Since Greg
and I never really talked about this particular subject, it was left to me to
decide. His birth & death date are
there, and my birthday with a dash beside.
I chose the scripture, “Looking unto Jesus, the author & finisher of
our faith” to be inscribed on the black granite slab. In death we look to Him, and in my continuing
this life, my “dash” so to speak, I have learned to rely on Christ as never
before. His grace IS sufficient. I have hope that I too, will finish well.
Confectionately Yours,
Sue
