The Stages of Grief

It’s been 4 years since the very unexpected death of my husband of 32 years.  It has been journey that I would not care to repeat, but I will be the first to admit and praise God for His faithfulness and comfort.

We are told there are 6 stages of grief. The first is shock (you just can’t quite comprehend that this has happened.)   The others are denial, anger, bargaining, sorrow, & acceptance.

Denial- MAYBE it really didn’t happen-I’m dreaming, or the diagnoses hasn’t come back with surety.

Bargaining-where we might ask God…”Lord, if you will just do this thing or heal this disease, I will do whatever You require of me.”

Anger-It might be with God or the person who died. 

I was surprised to find myself angry with my husband for leaving me behind.  It was unreasonable when dying was not his choice, but in reading books on grieving, I have learned that this is a normal response.  Anger can turn into bitterness if we live in that land too long, so be wary of this.  God can heal an angry spirit if we allow Him to.

Sorrow-This one needs no elaboration, but as I move through this grieving process, I find this one lasts the longest.  On those really hard days that seem to come out of nowhere, and a memory or situation emphasizes my loss, it is good to know that this is normal.

Then finally comes acceptance. Accepting the situation doesn’t mean it is over. Some stages last longer than others, have no particular order in which they come, and no set time frame for their completion.

I have kept a computer journal these past 4 years. Next to prayer and reading God’s word, it has been one of the most beneficial tools in my grieving process.  When I revisit those days, and compare to today, I see progress.  There have been blessings, victories & spiritual growth these past 4 years, along with the sorrow. God is good.  He has given me hope and a future.

                                         Confectionately  Yours,

Sue